‘Difficult’ children are only slightly more likely to have insecure attachments with parents

Parents may worry about connecting with a child who is hard to comfort. hobo_018/E+ via Getty Images

Children with difficult temperaments, including personality tendencies such as irritability and having a hard time being comforted, are only slightly more likely than other children to have insecure attachment relationships with one or both of their parents, according to our research. This finding refutes the long-standing notion held by many psychologists that early attachment behaviors are mainly determined by a child’s temperament.

An attachment relationship reflects the child’s expectations about their caregiver in times of need. A secure attachment is likely if a caregiver is consistently available and emotionally supportive when the child is alarmed. However, if a child learns that their caregiver will not be there when needed or will not effectively soothe them, chances are they will develop an insecure attachment relationship with that caregiver.

As researchers in clinical psychology and child and family studies, we are interested in how the quality of child-caregiver relationships affects children’s development.

Part of that is understanding what influences the way child-parent attachments form. Even infants show stark differences in temperament, and some psychologists have argued that these individual dispositions may also explain how youngsters interact with caregivers. Even the most sensitive and loving parent could feel challenged when caring for a difficult child – does that dynamic influence the quality of their attachment relationship?

How we do our work

With 29 other researchers, we started a research consortium to study the quality of children’s attachment relationships with their mothers and fathers – or what we call their attachment networks.

For this meta-analysis, we combined data collected over the past 40 years on 872 children from North American families.

Researchers observed these kids interacting separately with their mothers and fathers and completed assessments designed to evaluate children’s attachment behaviors: How do they seek comfort in times of need? How easily do they find reassurance in their parents? How do they explore their environment in the presence of their parents?

In addition, parents reported on the degree of their children’s difficult temperament. How likely was the child to experience intense negative emotions, such as anger, sadness or fearfulness?

It seemed logical that children who have a more difficult temperament might tend to have more insecure attachment relationships within the family – but that’s not exactly what we found. Instead, a difficult temperament had very little to do with the number of insecure attachment relationships a child had with their parents.

Greater tendencies toward a difficult temperament had just a very small impact – less than 1%, according to our statistical analysis – on children’s likelihood to have multiple insecure attachment relationships. And temperament was only slightly more difficult in infants who had insecure attachment with both parents rather than with only one or neither of the parents.

Difficult temperament doesn’t mean a secure attachment relationship won’t form between child and parent.
PeopleImages/iStock via Getty Images Plus

Why it matters

Recent research from our consortium has found that children who develop secure attachment relationships with both mom and dad tend to show fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as stronger language skills, compared with those who had only one or no secure attachment relationships in their two-parent families.

The results from our latest study suggest that even children with inborn characteristics of a difficult temperament can benefit from the advantages that come from multiple secure attachments. These findings may reassure worried parents.

What still isn’t known

Further research is needed to explain the small increase in insecure attachments we did identify for kids with difficult temperaments.

For example, children’s difficult temperament increases the likelihood of negative parenting, including anger and coercing and overcontrolling behaviors. These in turn can intensify children’s negative emotions. Over time, it’s possible this two-way street of negative reactions increases the probability of insecure attachment relationships between child and parents.

Interventions that promote positive parenting and sensitive discipline increase children’s attachment security with their parents. So, parents can foster secure attachment with deliberate efforts to be more sensitive to the child’s emotional needs.

One thing has become clear. The secure attachment relationships that play a critical role in cognitive and emotional development are not closed off to children born with difficult temperaments.

The Research Brief is a short take on interesting academic work.

Carlo Schuengel receives funding from the NIH, the Netherlands Organisation for Health Research and Development (ZonMw), and the Dutch Research Council (NWO).

Or Dagan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.